How to setup for Christmas

By Dillon Cooper and Andrew Schultz

Well, it’s time for the annual season change from fall to winter, and once again you feel that irresistible urge that you have to prefect everything and put up every single light that you posses, even if you know that they don’t work. You find yourself praying for some miracle to happen; that they do work and you don’t have to run to the local hardware store to buy a brand new box of 100 count lights that are a resale value of less then what you originally bought those old lights back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. Well, just resist the urge to go out to your garage and pull down those ornaments and lights from the attic and untangle them; don’t have your son walk half-way around the earth until they are finally all straightened out just because you want to impress your wife just that much more because you didn’t, once again, get a “thoughtful” gift. Instead, just sit down and take a few minutes and read our “how-to’s” and maybe we could help you make your holiday hassle go by with more speed than you when you fall off of your roof while hanging the lights.

Q: How do I scrape up extra money for the holidays?
A: Don’t invest in the stock market.

Q: How do I build a snowman?
A: Don’t start anything you can’t finish!

Q. How do I assemble a ginger bread house without it falling apart?
A. Use duct tape. Note: Nobody said you had to eat it!

Q. How do I avoid electrical problems during the holiday season?
A. Pay your electric bill.

Q. How do I decorate my house at Christmas?
A. Listen to your mother.

Q. How do I put up Christmas lights when I run out of hangers/staples?
A. Use duct tape (It’ll hold anything and everything!)

Q. How do I earn extra money for Christmas?
A. Get a job or, if that doesn’t work, ask the government for a multi million-dollar bailout plan!

Q. How do I find a personalized Christmas gift?
A. Watch Martha Stewart

Q. How do I get help paying my bills?
A. Call your in-laws.

Q. How do I keep my Christmas tree green longer?
A: Green Spray Paint.